Tag Archives: humor

Your All-Purpose Morning Affirmation

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You’re welcome.

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A Christmas Story – The Annunciation of the Country Ham

country-hamAnd lo, upon the approach of the celebration of the birth of our Lord, the angel of the Lord did appear in a great and heavenly light unto the lowly scribe to share with him the Word.

“Lowly scribe, I bring to you tidings of great joy. It has come to pass that you shall honor the tradition of your fathers and their fathers, and bring forth to the feast the holy Country Ham.”

And the scribe gazed upon the Lord’s messenger in awe, saying, “Dude, how did you get in here?”

“Fear not,” spoke the Angel. “There are great preparations to be made. First, thou shalt seek the holy Country Ham in a distant land.”

“Does Delaware count?” asketh the scribe.

“Where?”

Continue reading

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Funky Friday: Clinton In the News

Clinton

Been hearing a lot about a certain Clinton testifying before Congress for something or other. Pretty sure it’s not this Clinton, though.

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Breaking: Live Stream of Today’s Big Announcement at Apple

Ah, yes … another gathering of the faithful Disciples of Jobs, raising their voices and rending their garments in preparation of  hearing what wisdom their benevolent overlord will pass down through his earthly intermediaries.

It’s quite sweet, really.

Oh, look. It seems this year’s gadget will be known as the iHeart.

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Funky Friday: Lyle Lovett Proves Genre Only Means Something If You Let It

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you “Penguins,” one of out-and-out funkiest songs ever laid down by someone generally classified as a country artist.

But if you took a country music fan – the Coors Light-drinking, NASCAR-watching, truck-driving, ATV riding type of country music fan – and asked him about Lyle Lovett, chances are he’d look at you like my dog does when he’s confused about what I’m asking him to do.

That’s because on the radar screen of your average “hot” country radio listener, Lovett isn’t even a blip. He’s too funny looking (real country stars are pretty-boy handsome with a rustic edge), he’s too bluesy (real country stars have twang galore and don’t use all those annoying horns and … what the hell is that – a cello?) and he sings about the wrong stuff (no songs about getting wasted on cheap beer from a Solo cup while partying in a field), etc.

Add to that the fact that some of his songs are actually funny, obviously taking an opportunity to tweak the country music stereotypes that remain so pervasive, and he seems tailor made to piss off typical country fans. Continue reading

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Your Monday Reminder Is Something I Know Way Too Much About

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Spring tends to make people a little goofy, especially here in the Northeast where it seemed like we’d be buried under snow until sometime in the middle of July.

But alas, the snow is gone and we just frolicked through a full weekend of sunny, 70 degree-plus weather that seemed bring everyone out to play.

Of course, for me this has never depended on ridiculous things like the weather. Recently I spent a full 20 minutes at the dinner table making my kids collapse into fits of giggling by doing an extended riff on Johnny Depp’s Capt. Jack Sparrow – basically a drunk Keith Richards.

Like I said, for me it doesn’t take much.

So take some time today to do something that you wouldn’t normally do simply because you were worried that you might look a little silly. Here’s a recommendation.

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Quit Yer Bitchin’. Your Day at the Office Isn’t as Bad as You Think

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OK, so your boss is an anal-retentive weenie, your work brings you zero satsifaction and your coworkers are backstabbing losers. But consider that you could be this guy:

Feeling better yet? Good. Happy Hump Day.

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Star Wars Brings the Noir for Your Monday

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These are too good not to gawk over. Star Wars + film noir goodness = major win. Click on the pic to link to the rest.

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